I've been taking a summer vacation from this whole blog thing, i will be back up and running at the end of next month (hopefully) with weekly new posts. for now enjoy my random thoughts after one CHAOTIC week:
All my life i've always said i'd be happier alone. I always said I’d have my work and my friends but Some person in your life 24/7 (S.M.H) More trouble than its worth. I had a frightening thought today as i wondered through my empty apartment alone. Maybe I've been faking all these years, faking to myself that I was happy being single. Blind sighting my loneliness with the distraction of friends. there's a reason I always said I'd be happy alone and It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I learned to love someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. I told my self "It's easier to be alone", because What if i liked love and leaned on it? What if i where to shape my life around it and then it where to fall apart? Can i even survive that kind of pain? So, what happens when your resume is a mirage and the disposable friendship that you had keeping you distracted have grown apart from you? I decided instead of running away from the idea of a life alone...I'd better sit down and take that fear to lunch.
No books, no Lovers, no friends, no armor...no faking.
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